OTD – Constanze (Weber) Mozart Born

Were you born on January 5? If so, then you share your birthday with Maria Constanze Weber, who, in 1782 became the wife of some fella named Mozart.

Constanze was only 15 years old when Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, accompanied by his mother, made her acquaintance in 1777 in Mannheim. She was, however, not the focus of his attention; rather, Mozart, fresh from a recent tryst with his cousin in Augsburg, was suddenly smitten by her older sister, Aloysia. Mozart and his mother stayed with the Weber family until the spring of 1778 when he moved on to Paris in search of work with his mother in tow.

Constanze would not see Mozart again until 1781 after he was released by the court of Count Colloredo, Prince-Archbishop of Salzburg. (In actuality, he was quite literally booted in the ass as he left by the Count’s deputy, Arco, after going on an acerbic and ill-advised tirade of complaints and uncomplimentary observations.) By this time, Aloysia was married and Mozart had no real interest in rekindling the romance. Instead, he his gaze was captured by the attractive, 19 year-old Constanze.

constanze
Constanze, drawn to appear remarkably masculine, was probably much more attractive in person. (Source: www.nannerl.net)

Mozart’s father, Leopold, was not a fan of the Webers, in part because they were not of the same social station. This disapproving attitude gave him license to complain about Constanze to Mozart. Mozart was cowed by Leopold’s opinion of Constanze and made an effort to downplay any relationship that he might be having with her.

Mozart also tried to keep the relationship secret from her family as well. Naturally, courting shenanigans are difficult to keep under wraps, and Constanze’s mother got wise to the affair and asked Mozart to leave, whereupon he moved into an apartment in downtown Vienna on a street called Graben. (Graben, or ditch in German, got its name from the trench that lay in that area during its time as a walled Roman settlement called Vindobona.) All this time, Leopold was making much hay about the Mozart-Constanze affair, and all the while Mozart kept his cool and continued to downplay the relationship. In a letter, he wrote to his father,

“She’s only pretty in that she has two small black eyes and a good figure.”

Leopold was neither fooled, nor amused, and eventually Mozart opened the floodgates and simply told him that he was going to marry Constance in a way that was sure to return to Leopold all the frustrations that Leopold has heaped onto him over the years:

“I’ve decided to, first, make sure I’ve got some money coming in — it’s not too hard to survive here with the odd Godsend — and then, to get married… But who’s the girl I love? Well, don’t blow your top. ‘Surely not one of the Webers?’ Yes, actually, one of the Webers. Not Josepha, not Sophie… Constanze!”

Constanze married Johannes Chrysostomus Wolfgangus Theophilus Mozart on August 4, 1782, in St. Stephen’s Cathedral in downtown Vienna only a few blocks from Graben.

St. Stephen's Cathedral in Vienna is difficult to photograph, except possibly from space. (Source: Wikipedia)
St. Stephen’s Cathedral in Vienna is difficult to photograph, except possibly from space. (Source: Wikipedia)

By this time her husband’s career was really beginning to take off, and his recent opera, Abduction from the Seraglio, was packing opera houses and garnering the enthusiastic praise of Emperor Joseph II himself. Constanze used her fine business sense to manage the house.

On June 17, 1783, Constanze gave birth to her first son, Raimund Leopold Mozart. She and Mozart left the baby in care and traveled to Salzburg to visit Leopold; however, they received word soon afterward that young Raimund had died. On the journey back, they stopped in Linz, where Mozart, seeing an opportunity, wrote the entire Symphony No. 36 in C in just a few days, and it was performed on November 4, 1783.

Constanze’s second child, Karl Thomas Mozart, survived into adulthood and was quite a good pianist himself. He never became a composer, but he did get into trading and helmed a failed business venture. Nevertheless, he made enough from royalties on other things to buy a place in the country, which he bequeathed to the village of Caversaccio in Italy after his death in 1858.

Her third and fourth child survived one month (Oct – Nov 1786) and six months (Dec 1787 – Jun 1788), respectively, and her fifth child was born and died on the same day in 1789.

Her sixth and final child, Franz Xaver Wolfgang Mozart (but called Wolfgang), followed in his father’s footsteps, becoming a composer and conductor himself. He did not, however, achieve the same acclaim as his father, although he was able to compose no fewer than 30 pieces of music in his own right. Mozart would never see any of his success, though, because he died on December 5, 1791, only two months after young Wolfgang’s birth.

Elizabeth Berridge portrayed Constanze Mozart in the 1984 film, Amadeus. (Source: amadeus-live.com)
Elizabeth Berridge portrayed Constanze Mozart in the 1984 film, Amadeus. Berridge is probably a bit more attractive than Constanze was, but she’s still pretty close in appearance. (Source: amadeus-live.com)

Young Wolfgang died in 1844, and was survived only by his older brother, Karl. Karl, in turn, died in 1858. Neither Wolfgang nor Karl ever married or fathered children, so, as a result, with the death of Karl Mozart followed the death of the direct line of Mozart.

Constanze, again using her fine business acumen, parlayed the enormously popular musical legacy of her husband in a reversal of the crippling debts he left. She had a small career in music, and was even featured in her husband’s performances—even premieres—as a singer. After Mozart’s death, she continued singing, performing with her sister, Aloysia, in 1795.

She married again in 1809 to Georg Nissen, a diplomat from Copenhagen. She and Georg lived in Copenhagen until 1820, and then moved to Salzburg where they both penned biographies of Constanze’s late husband. Georg died in 1826, his tombstone reading, in part, “The husband of Mozart’s widow”. Constanze lived out her remaining years in Salzburg with Aloysia (who died in 1839), and Sophie. Constanze died on March 6, 1842, just two years before her son, Karl. Sophie died four years later in 1846.

Resources

Count Hieronymus von Colloredo, Wikipedia

Constanze Mozart, Wikipedia

Aloysia Weber, Wikipedia

Sophie Weber, Wikipedia

Georg Nikolaus von Nissen, Wikipedia

Franz Xaver Wolfgang Mozart, Wikipedia

Karl Thomas Mozart, Wikipedia

Mozart and His Times, Google Books

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, Wikipedia

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart, MusOpen

Symphony no. 36 in C ‘Linz’, K. 425, MusOpen

Works, 1781 – 1785, The Mozart Project

Graben, Vienna, Wikipedia

Vindobona, Wikipedia

Mozart’s biography: tragedy strikes (1774 – 1778), Classic FM

Mozart’s biography: duels and his first son (1779 – 1783), Classic FM

Mozart and Constanze Weber – how Mozart met his wife, Classic FM

Maria Anna Mozart, Nannerl.net

Elizabeth Berridge (Media Gallery), Amadeus Live

OTD – J.R.R. Tolkien Born

If you were born on January 3, then you share your birthday with literary legend J.R.R. Tolkien. As the hobbits of Hobbiton might have said, today would have been his twelvety-fourth birthday.

Tolkien was born on this day in 1892 in what is now South Africa. The map of the area was quite a bit different then than it is now, and the nation of his birth then was called Orange River Free State, and lay northwest of the mountains of present day Lesotho. In fact, the South African state is still called Free State—a political and cartographic legacy of those days of political upheaval and change.

map-south-africa-1892
Southern Africa in 1892. Tolkien was born near the center of the yellow country, then called Orange River Free State.

At the age of three, Tolkien was moved to England with his mother and brother. Later, he would spend time on the farm of Jane Neave, his aunt. The name of the farm was (and still is) Bag End Farm, and was the inspiration and namesake of location in The Hobbit. Bag End Farm was located west of Stratford-upon-Avon, UK (the birthplace of Shakespeare) in Dormston. Darmston is little more that a quaint, rural hamlet that boast the lush, idyllic landscape that came to appear in his most famous works. Author Andrew Morton notes,

“Jane had done her research; having sifted through the deeds, it was she who discovered that the charmingly English name Bag End was the original, and, according to locals, proper name of her farm. It may even be that the words ‘Bag End’ and his recently discovered Yorshire dialect word ‘baggins’ started to from an alliance in his linguistic imagination.”

It looks as if Bilbo Baggins might have gotten his name form the name of a farmstead as spoken in a thick, rural Yorkshire accent.

Tolkien was a gifted linguist, and was exposed to interesting languages early on. In addition to the panoply of dialects around him in England, he was exposed to constructed languages. Constructed languages are made-up language, but they are not mere babble like “speaking in tongues”; rather, they are designed and assembled with a specific vocabulary and grammar. Often the vocabulary is small and the grammar is simplistic for practical reasons, but this need not be so. Tolkien created his own languages after an encounter with Animalic, created by two cousins in the midst of the study of classical languages. Naffarin was the first constructed language to be his own creation. In later years, he would construct an impressive array of languages for use in his stories: Elvish (Primitive Quendian, Common Eldarin, Quenya, Goldogrin, Noldorin, Telerin, Ilkorin, Doriathrin, Avarin, and Sindarin), Rohirric, Haladin, Dunlendish, Drûg, Haradrim, Adûnaic, Easterling, and Valarin, which he divided into three branches: Oromëan, Aulëan, and Melkian. Most of these languages were developed from Tolkien’s own exposure to Germanic tongues such as Anglo-Saxon (now Old English), Gothic, and Old Norse, which are rich in linguistic complexities and still confound and frustrate learners today.

Tolkien served in World War I as a Lieutenant (officers were routinely drawn from the upper class, while the trenches were similarly routinely filled with the social dross of the labor class). After only a few months in the field, Tolkien had lost a number of close friends in battle, and eventually fell ill to a louse-vectored illness and sent home to England to recuperate. Soon after his departure, his battalion suffered catastrophic losses in personnel and materiel. Said Tolkien in the preface of the second edition of The Lord of the Rings:

“By 1918 all but one of my close friends were dead.”

Tolkien would use these horrific experiences to inform the hardships of battle laid out in his epics.

jrrtolkien
John Ronald Reuel Tolkien as a young lad (left), a Lieutenant in the Lancashire Fusiliers (middle), and an old fart enjoying retirement after having changed the world of literature (right).

Tolkien remained in the military until 1920, and then began a civilian career, eventually becoming the youngest professor at the University of Leeds where he made translations of important Anglo-Saxon classics, including Beowulf, which took six years to complete and was not published until 88 years later in 2014 (posthumously by his son, Christopher). In 1925 he moved on to Pembroke College, a constituent college of Oxford (and not to be confused with the Cambridge constituent by the same name), where he began to write his magnus opus, completing The Hobbit, The Fellowship of the Ring, and The Two Towers. He did not complete The Return of the King until 1948.

J.R.R. Tolkien died on September 2, 1973. On the tombstone he shares with his wife of 55 years, Edith, he had applied the epithets Lúthien and Beren, drawn from his Legendarium, a reference to eternal love and sacrifice for its sake.

Resources:

J.R.R. Tolkien, Wikipedia

South Africa Map 1892 […], OldMapsAndPrints (Etsy Store)

Bag End—A Very English Place, Tolkien Library, Morton, Andrew H.

Tolkien’s Bag End, Morton, Andrew H.

Dormston and Bag End, Moore, Robert

Languages Constructed by JRR Tolkien, Wikipedia

Battle of the Somme, Wikipedia

The first and last day of my prayer challenge.

“If ye ask anything in my name, I will do it” – John 14:14

“Therefore I say unto you, what things soever ye desire, when ye pray, believe that ye receive them, and ye shall have them.” – Mark 11:24

I’m participating in this weeks 2nd most popular Facebook topic to conduct an experiment. For the number one most popular thing I see is in regards to the lottery now passing $500 million dollars.

I aim to combine them in an experiment that should last no more then a day.

Thanks for playing along.

Seventy percent of America believes in God, about 30% are dedicated Christians that adhere to the standards laid out by what they believe to be are the earthly spiritual leaders of God Himself.   This is in spite  of the fact that there does not appear to be a uniform standard even though they all share the same “infallible” text books. If the quoted scriptures above are true – and they are the literal unshakable word of God, then logic dictates that about 20% to 30% of our population should have drawn the same winning lottery numbers tonight and will share equally in God answering their prayers.

If instead, God is supremely prejudicial in answering prayers, then the most devout, the one with the most sincere prayers and the one who has lived a most deserved life will become a very rich person while all others will be subjugated to being valued members of a his infantile children’s club.

If instead a third outcome takes place and some one off group or individual wins the lottery who other then the tribal response to such things, lets out a “thank you Jesus!”, then one of two things will have happened. Either the scriptures are not the literal word of God or God is a liar.

If either of those two outcomes make you feel uncomfortable, there is a third option. In contrast to Genesis, we made God in our own image to serve our own needs and to make ourselves feel good.

Nearly every fight for equality in this country has found its most staunch and arbitrary resistance in biblical reference throughout our history. This has been reinforced by the false interpretation that we where founded as a Christian nation much as modern Iran was founded to be an Islamic nation. We, America, was not and the founding fathers went to some lengths to annotate that fact for posterity while being somewhat encumbered by a lack of literary vernacular, historically removed far enough from clutches of centuries of church based rule.

As we are now coming to mandate the teaching of creationism with absolutely no foundation save for the “literal word of God” in our classrooms, we should pause. As we continue to deny sexual equality for no other reason save for the literal interpretation of a few cherry picked old testament passages that lie in conflict with the New Testament, we should pause.

There is no historical precedent for the faithful having any form of edge in picking winning lottery numbers, just as there are exceptionally few incredibly wealthy and retired fortune tellers.

We should use caution when applying doctrine as justification for law. While there are a number of anecdotal stories of relevance, there are no infallible truths in the bible. The earth is not flat, it never flooded, it is older than six thousand years, and Adam and Eve were not the origin of mankind.

I’ll not deny the benefit of prayer as an indirect tool in living less mindlessly. If praying about winning the lottery makes you more mindful of your budget and the value of charity – great. But I refute unequivocally the suggestion that a magical extraterrestrial mystery dude is going to help anyone win the lottery – or answer a single prayer.   Ever.

Tonight we find out.

Why Did So Many People Fail to Vote in 2014?

I posted this on Facebook but I thought it might be fun to post this here to help get the ball rolling. Any thoughts about why so many Americans refused to vote in 2014?

My takeaway from the 2014 general election? Both parties (but especially the Democrats) should be embarrassed at total voter turnout. Looks like roughly 36% of registered Indiana voters turned out, the lowest turnout in the country. Maine led the way with a scorching 59.3% turnout (I say that in jest). 50% of Floridians voted (I just heard that on NPR) and roughly half of those came from early voting.

So winning an election made up of less then 50% of registered American voters should really give pause to everyone involved. Are the results even legitimate (I know mechanically they are)? Heck, Gallop noted before the election that 27% of the people planned NOT to vote all before the election! And then another additional 23% or so also failed to turn out.

Does that make anyone feel good about our process, our fellow Americans or our government? Not me. I get the idea that if you don’t vote you lose your ability to bitch. But I think it is also safe to say (and accurate) that so many folks are just so turned off on the choices and our process that they do have that they feel like voting has no impact at all. That is my guess at least as I know Americans work harder then anyone in the world (so I DON’T think it is being lazy).

“Moreover, the 41% of U.S. adults saying they have given “quite a lot” or “some” thought to this year’s election is the lowest Gallup has recorded on the eve of any of the last six midterms. The 58% saying they are absolutely certain they will vote ties with 1998 for the lowest….The clearest indication that turnout will be lower than four years ago is that more than a quarter of U.S. adults — 27% — say they do not plan to vote in this year’s election, up from 20% in 2010. This does not mean that all others will in fact vote, but it is a useful metric to gauge relative turnout across elections.”
http://www.gallup.com/poll/179147/voters-especially-independents-lack-interest-election.aspx

http://bluenationreview.com/2014-saw-lowest-voter-turnout-since-1940/

OTD – Houdini Sucker Punched, Dies

Today is the anniversary of what most consider to be the event that felled the great Harry Houdini. Possibly as a result of this event—a series of powerful blows to the lower abdomen, Houdini eventually ended up in a familiar circumstance (being in a sealed box and buried underground), but from which he would never escape.

Houdini is still a household name in the world of magic, escape, and—less notably—the debunking of supernatural claims. (James Randi picked up here in the 1960s where Houdini left off, and Penn Jillette has taken on the burden of debunking persistent superstitions since the 1980s.) What is less known, though, are the circumstances surrounding his quick decline and death in 1926.

Houdini and Lincoln
Harry Houdini demonstrates to a long-dead Abe Lincoln how easy it is to fake ghost photos.

One of Houdini’s claims was that he could withstand a blow to the abdomen from anyone, that such blows did not hurt him. Generally, this panned out fine—Houdini could take a punch, no doubt. After giving permission for the attacker to deliver the punches, Houdini would simply brace for the attack and absorb the hits. Never did any lasting damage occur; probably the most he suffered was a bit of bruising.

However, on October 22, 1926, he was confronted by one Gordon Whitehead who kindly asked permission to test the claim by punching Houdini in the bread basket. Despite having to remain seated because he had broken his ankle performing his Chinese Water Torture escape the previous week, Houdini assented and Whitehead took to pummeling poor Houdini slightly below the belt. After several, Houdini waved off the attacks indicating that he’d had quite enough.

Houdini
Houdini performs the Chinese Water Torture escape is his shamelessly stylish bathing suit

Afterward, Houdini developed a fever, but continued to perform, even ignoring pleas to visit a physician to check out the fever and the abdominal pain he was experiencing. Finally, after passing out during his final performance due to fever, he was admitted to the hospital that night on October 25. He continued to decline over the next several days and died on October 31, 1926 of peritonitis caused by a ruptured appendix.

Whether the blows caused the appendix to become infected and rupture later is an open question. There’s certainly no doubt that it’s contemporaneous with the blows delivered by Whitehead, but it is still unclear whether the blows caused the appendicitis, whether they exacerbated an existing condition, or whether the two were simply coincidental and unrelated.

As always, though, when in the absence of facts, folks will always find a way to manufacture “facts” (with ironic quotes) that suit their existing prejudices. As a result, a sort of legend has been built up around the event that may or may not have taken the life of one the greatest performers the world may or may have have seen…depending on your existing prejudices.

While visions of sugar plumbs danced in their heads…

By the time you read this, perhaps the most successful of all spacecraft programs will have returned to earth for the third time after an unprecedented and flawlessly combined 1700 days in orbit with three return trips to our home world before commandeering all of Cape Canaveral.

Yes I am talking about the super classified X-37B.

What we know as the space shuttle program was gross attempt at a 37,000 unique heat shield tile prototype for a reusable heavy lift vehicle. It’s only sustaining grace was the human crew capacity.

A year after the shuttle program was cancelled, the X-37B was into its 2nd test flight of more than 600 days. No humans on board and absolute precision to execute the electronic orders sent to it.

Given that it has a Geo-stationary lift capability greater then the cargo space of any Toyota Pickup truck in production, it kind of makes you wonder how it has been complimenting the NSA (its stated mission during Bush II).

For the curious, it lands tomorrow night at Edwards AFB for the last time before taking over the recently vacated shuttle’s home in Florida.

Autobiographies are written by liars

As a kid there where two kinds of literature that I devoured.

Those books that taught me about a subject I craved to understand and those that shared a detailed accounting of how someone either created the subject matter or who aggregated it well enough to create something new. I always favoured the raw content until I found it indigestible without the context of the human perseverance that lead to the understanding.

On occasion, I come up with a point of view or frame of reference that a few close friends find interesting either by way of provocation or enlightenment. Often my efforts to explain my conclusions require me to self examine the trail of bread crumbs that lead me to a conclusion. Most often I find reinforcement, but sometimes the need to refactor.

It is this struggle to figure out how I became me, with all my filtered perceptions and my intrinsic situational interpolation that I have come to realize that every autobiography I have ever read, was at best, a collection of well intentioned lies and filtered truths.

Some write diaries to help them with their essay of self. Most diaries are written in a second person narrative, usually to a future self as motivational or in the voice of wishful thinking. Some are written for posterity, and willingly neglect details that don’t support the intended projection of idealism. Perhaps the only diaries that are historically relevant are those which unintentionally document a historical event (such as Anne Frank’s).

It is now a well documented phenomena that the simple act of recalling a memory, modifies that memory. Our water laden, squishy and pliable synaptic memory banks are not all that different from the ferrite core memories in the very first computers. The act of recalling information always has a side effect in the re-persisting of that information. Only recently has the legal system begun to accept the problem of memory modification through and by the science that was once was believed to be entirely therapeutic counselling.

I can’t remember reading a person’s autobiography who didn’t recall some life changing event before the author was 10. As we get older, the frequency of new experiences slows proportionately to the sense that time accelerates. I recall many life changing events from the age of 3 to the age of 9. None of which are accurate, but the perception of which continue to have a profound influence upon me.

Its as if the early and most momentous events in our lives are given some kind of force multiplying coefficient whose exponent is time.

I’m not really bothered by having been mislead by all the authors of all the great autobiographies I have enjoyed, nor by whose fanciful tales I measured myself as being somewhat deficient in some regard.

But I am relieved that as I am now somewhat more aged and nearer to being their peers in having lived while struggling to retain clarity on my earliest memories, I can see the wink across time by all those great contributors to the understanding of the human condition that shrugs and says, “well that’s how I remember it”.

OTD – The Battle of Hastings Ends Harold’s Short Reign

Today is the anniversary of the legendary Battle of Hastings, which began the swift transfer of British control from the English to the Normans (Frenchmen of Norse decent), and also the swift transition of King Harold II of England from a living state to a state quite resembling that of death, complete with stuff sticking out of him.

Harold Godwinson had been elected king by a council of “wise men”. He was elected king because the actual heir, Edgar the Aetheling, was only a kid of about 14. When Harold got the nod from the council, Harald Sigurdsson (Harald III of Norway) also claimed the throne, which turned out to be bad news for Harold II of England.

Isti Mirant Stella
“Isti Mirant Stella” means “These guys check out the star”. The star, you might have realized, is Halley’s Comet.

When Harald (note the spelling) invaded England, he landed about 200 or miles north of London at the mouth of the Tyne river (whereupon he immediately started plundering the coast), so Harold had to drive his army hard to meet him. After several engagements, Harold was victorious. However, as Harold and his troops were resting after a four-day forced march to Tynemouth and five days of brutal 11th century warfare, Harold got word that William, Duke of Normandy had landed at Pevensey, moving east toward Hastings.

Harold moved swiftly south again to meet William just north of Hasting on a field now occupied by the ruins of Battle Abbey in the present day town of Battle, UK. By 9 a.m. the swords were swinging, and the battle was over about nine hours later. Harold was killed, either by an arrow to the eye, a mortal blow by a knight’s sword, or both–it’s unclear. However, what seems clear is that once Harold was killed, the English forces simply fell apart. By morning, William was clearly in charge of things in the area.

Statue d'Dgilliaume lé Contchéthant à Falaise 02
William “The Conqueror”, Mr. Tough Guy
While there was still some additional intrigue involving the rightful heir, Edgar (remember him?), William was nevertheless crowned on Christmas day in 1066. This marked the last time that English was spoken in the English court until the coronation of Henry IV 333 years later when he delivered his speech in English. His son, Henry V, would restore English as the official language of court some years later.

OTD – Mary, Queen of Scots Goes On Trial

Today is the anniversary of the commencement of trial proceedings that would see the conviction and sentencing to death of none other than Mary, Queen of Scots.

Mary Queen of Scots Mourning
Mary, Queen of Scots looking like she’s up to something
Mary had, in her final years, become quite a thorn in the side of the English Queen, Elizabeth I, and several of her plots were uncovered over her years imprisoned in Scotland and England. The entire time, Mary was fighting for what she believed to be her legitimate birthright: the English throne. Mary–and her numerous supporters–believed that Mary was the rightful heir to Mary I (Bloody Mary—a different Mary) because Elizabeth was born to Anne Boleyn, who was not married in the eyes of Mary’s Catholic church. Nevertheless, Elizabeth retained her throne.

Emanuel-van-Meteren-Historien-der-Nederlanden-tot-1612 MG 9970
A weary-looking Elizabeth has had just about enough of Mary

Among the supporters of Mary were the Spanish, who were extremely powerful in the 16th century (until about 1588). Together with the Spanish and the Duke of Norfolk, Mary conspired to remove and replace Elizabeth as the Queen of England. Sir Francis Walsingham and William Cecil uncovered the plot and thwarted the effort. Mary was then presented with the charge of violating the “Act for the Queen’s Safety” (i.e., planning Elizabeth’s assassination) and placed in custody.

Her trial began on this day in 1586, and by most accounts was basically a Kangaroo Court. She was convicted on October 25 and sentenced to die at the hands of the axeman. The execution was an even greater cock-up. According to Antonia Frasier (a descendant and biographer of Mary), Mary wore the tradition Catholic colors of martyrdom (bright red). She strolled self-sure to the block, pulled her hair aside and exposed her neck to the executioner.

Queen Mary death mask copy, Falkland Palace
Copy of Mary’s death mask, clearly a sanitized version
The rest would be comical if it weren’t so tragic: The axeman missed the neck on the first swing and caught Mary in the back of the head, leaving her still alive. A second swing hit the mark, but the axe failed to cut completely through, and Mary’s head dangled freely by the remaining neck tissue. The executioner then simply sawed away at the strip of flesh until the head fell to the deck. When the head was lifted to the cry of “God save the Queen!”, the head fell to the deck again, revealing that Mary had been wearing a wig; the head lolling around on the deck had short, gray hair.Mary’s son, James, inherited the Scottish throne as James VI of Scotland. Sixteen years later, on the death of Elizabeth I, he inherited the English throne also as James I of England, finally uniting all of Great Britain under one ruler (but still, technically, two crowns).

OTD – Jack The Ripper Takes Second Victim

These articles begin life as On-This-Day birthday articles for friends on my Facebook page. This is the reason that some of these articles are not of the highest journalistic quality; I don’t care enough to exhaust myself citing references and double checking sources for a birthday greeting (although citation do appear from time to time).

For this birthday article I was going to write about how today is the birthday of rapper Wiz Khalifa. Buuuuuut…since no one gives a shit about a hip-hop artist whose only marketable skill to bust rhymes with 40% greater efficiency than chimpanzees set loose in a typewriter factory, I’m moving on to something relevant real quick. Today is also the day that Annie Chapman died. And because the death of a 19th century East London prostitute is infinitely more interesting than even the most exciting Wiz news, I’m going to foist this sweet forensic update on you with great alacrity (and, if only comments were disabled, impunity also) because this one actually has some relevance in the present day (which is another important way in which it is distinguished from Whiz Quiffa).

Or whatever it was he finally learned to write at the age of 20.

Wiz Khalifa Boston Urban Music Project August 2010
Wiz Khalifa demonstrates the fellatio techniques that garner him more recording contracts

The body of Annie Chapman was discovered just a few minutes before 6 am on September 8, 1888, the second victim of the man who came to be known as Jack the Ripper. Only 30 minutes before the discovery, Chapman and a friend were chatting with a fellow in shabby overcoat and a Sherlock Holmes double-brimmed style “deer hunter” cap. Perhaps it was Jack himself. In those days, prostitutes were considered somehow outside of society and beneath the general worth of the “normal” citizen. Actually nothing’s really changed there, except that they are now highly prized by politician and actors.

Photo of the body of Annie Chapman - a victim of Jack the Ripper
Annie Chapman in a family-friendly post mortem shot
What is interesting about this particular case is not so much who the victim was, but who the perpetrator was. You see, only yesterday it was announced that mitochondrial DNA evidence retrieved from a shawl of another victim (Catherine Eddowes) linked the killing of Eddowes to a Polish immigrant named Aaron Kosminski. Kosminski was a suspect at the time of the original investigation, but not enough evidence was collected to link him to any of the murders.

Wanted poster
Called “Leather Apron” by the press, John Pizer—wholly the wrong man—was arrested after the discovery of Chapman’s body near the corner of Hanbury and Wilkes Streets
The lingering question for folks who value evidence is how we can say that Kosminski killed all five of the so-called “canonical” murders when there is only direct evidence of his involvement in the Eddowes murder. The answer comes by way of the reason that they are called “canonical”: because the crimes were so similar that there is virtually no doubt among investigators that they were committed by the same person. This means that the killer of Eddowes—officially identified as Aaron Kosminski—is in all reasonable likelihood the killer of Chapman…and Nichols…and Stride…and Kelly.

In 2002, crime fiction author Patricia Cornwell penned a supposedly non-fiction book entitled “Portrait of a Killer – Jack the Ripper Case Closed”. Clearly confusing an ability to spin complex and compelling yarns about crimes that never occurred with the facility to investigate actual crimes, Cornwell’s popular tome fingered artist Walter Sickert as the murderer Jack the Ripper, and even toured the US and UK giving “dissertations”. Her evidence: some creepy drawings and the mere suggestion that some of the Ripper letters received by the investigators—most of which were known to be hoaxes—might have been penned by Sickert. By this standard, Edvard Munch could also be a suspect. As compelling as Cornwell’s theory was to people who don’t know anything about how actual evidence is collected and evaluated, it did not fool the folks who do know, and her fanciful theory was thoroughly dismantled and discredited. Her response: “If I were a MAN…or ENGLISH…”

Book Cover
A wolf in cheap clothing: Cornwell gets it all wrong in her attempt to put to bed things she cannot know

Yes, yes, dear. The mean old Patriarchy has struck again. Go tell it on the mountain [of evidence suggesting that you’re a second-rate hack investigator with a first-rate delusion of competence and grandeur].

So the other lingering question is: How does Cornwell keep getting work? The answer is that her books are popular and entertaining. She is a good writer of fiction. Non-fiction—especially non-fiction that she investigates herself—is quite simply not her area of competency. It’s compelling, but terrible.

Fortunately, she has not penned a non-fiction book since.