Today is the anniversary of the legendary Battle of Hastings, which began the swift transfer of British control from the English to the Normans (Frenchmen of Norse decent), and also the swift transition of King Harold II of England from a living state to a state quite resembling that of death, complete with stuff sticking out of him.
Harold Godwinson had been elected king by a council of “wise men”. He was elected king because the actual heir,Edgar the Aetheling, was only a kid of about 14. When Harold got the nod from the council, Harald Sigurdsson (Harald III of Norway) also claimed the throne, which turned out to be bad news for Harold II of England.
“Isti Mirant Stella” means “These guys check out the star”. The star, you might have realized, is Halley’s Comet.
When Harald (note the spelling) invaded England, he landed about 200 or miles north of London at the mouth of the Tyne river (whereupon he immediately started plundering the coast), so Harold had to drive his army hard to meet him. After several engagements, Harold was victorious. However, as Harold and his troops were resting after a four-day forced march to Tynemouth and five days of brutal 11th century warfare, Harold got word that William, Duke of Normandy had landed at Pevensey, moving east toward Hastings.
Harold moved swiftly south again to meet William just north of Hasting on a field now occupied by the ruins of Battle Abbey in the present day town of Battle, UK. By 9 a.m. the swords were swinging, and the battle was over about nine hours later. Harold was killed, either by an arrow to the eye, a mortal blow by a knight’s sword, or both–it’s unclear. However, what seems clear is that once Harold was killed, the English forces simply fell apart. By morning, William was clearly in charge of things in the area.
William “The Conqueror”, Mr. Tough GuyWhile there was still some additional intrigue involving the rightful heir, Edgar (remember him?), William was nevertheless crowned on Christmas day in 1066. This marked the last time that English was spoken in the English court until the coronation of Henry IV 333 years later when he delivered his speech in English. His son, Henry V, would restore English as the official language of court some years later.
Today is the anniversary of the commencement of trial proceedings that would see the conviction and sentencing to death of none other than Mary, Queen of Scots.
Mary, Queen of Scots looking like she’s up to somethingMary had, in her final years, become quite a thorn in the side of the English Queen, Elizabeth I, and several of her plots were uncovered over her years imprisoned in Scotland and England. The entire time, Mary was fighting for what she believed to be her legitimate birthright: theEnglish throne. Mary–and her numerous supporters–believed that Mary was the rightful heir to Mary I (Bloody Mary—a different Mary) because Elizabeth was born to Anne Boleyn, who was not married in the eyes of Mary’s Catholic church. Nevertheless, Elizabeth retained her throne.
A weary-looking Elizabeth has had just about enough of Mary
Among the supporters of Mary were the Spanish, who were extremely powerful in the 16th century (until about 1588). Together with the Spanish and the Duke of Norfolk, Mary conspired to remove and replace Elizabeth as the Queen of England. Sir Francis Walsingham and William Cecil uncovered the plot and thwarted the effort. Mary was then presented with the charge of violating the “Act for the Queen’s Safety” (i.e., planning Elizabeth’s assassination) and placed in custody.
Her trial began on this day in 1586, and by most accounts was basically a Kangaroo Court. She was convicted on October 25 and sentenced to die at the hands of the axeman. The execution was an even greater cock-up. According to Antonia Frasier (a descendant and biographer of Mary), Mary wore the tradition Catholic colors of martyrdom (bright red). She strolled self-sure to the block, pulled her hair aside and exposed her neck to the executioner.
Copy of Mary’s death mask, clearly a sanitized versionThe rest would be comical if it weren’t so tragic: The axeman missed the neck on the first swing and caught Mary in the back of the head, leaving her still alive. A second swing hit the mark, but the axe failed to cut completely through, and Mary’s head dangled freely by the remaining neck tissue. The executioner then simply sawed away at the strip of flesh until the head fell to the deck. When the head was lifted to the cry of “God save the Queen!”, the head fell to the deck again, revealing that Mary had been wearing a wig; the head lolling around on the deck had short, gray hair.Mary’s son, James, inherited the Scottish throne as James VI of Scotland. Sixteen years later, on the death of Elizabeth I, he inherited the English throne also as James I of England, finally uniting all of Great Britain under one ruler (but still, technically, two crowns).
These articles begin life as On-This-Day birthday articles for friends on my Facebook page. This is the reason that some of these articles are not of the highest journalistic quality; I don’t care enough to exhaust myself citing references and double checking sources for a birthday greeting (although citation do appear from time to time).
For this birthday article I was going to write about how today is the birthday of rapper Wiz Khalifa. Buuuuuut…since no one gives a shit about a hip-hop artist whose only marketable skill to bust rhymes with 40% greater efficiency than chimpanzees set loose in a typewriter factory, I’m moving on to something relevant real quick. Today is also the day that Annie Chapman died. And because the death of a 19th century East London prostitute is infinitely more interesting than even the most exciting Wiz news, I’m going to foist this sweet forensic update on you with great alacrity (and, if only comments were disabled, impunity also) because this one actually has some relevance in the present day (which is another important way in which it is distinguished from Whiz Quiffa).
Or whatever it was he finally learned to write at the age of 20.
Wiz Khalifa demonstrates the fellatio techniques that garner him more recording contracts
The body of Annie Chapman was discovered just a few minutes before 6 am on September 8, 1888, the second victim of the man who came to be known as Jack the Ripper. Only 30 minutes before the discovery, Chapman and a friend were chatting with a fellow in shabby overcoat and a Sherlock Holmes double-brimmed style “deer hunter” cap. Perhaps it was Jack himself. In those days, prostitutes were considered somehow outside of society and beneath the general worth of the “normal” citizen. Actually nothing’s really changed there, except that they are now highly prized by politician and actors.
Annie Chapman in a family-friendly post mortem shotWhat is interesting about this particular case is not so much who the victim was, but who the perpetrator was. You see, only yesterday it was announced that mitochondrial DNA evidence retrieved from a shawl of another victim (Catherine Eddowes) linked the killing of Eddowes to a Polish immigrant named Aaron Kosminski. Kosminski was a suspect at the time of the original investigation, but not enough evidence was collected to link him to any of the murders.
Called “Leather Apron” by the press, John Pizer—wholly the wrong man—was arrested after the discovery of Chapman’s body near the corner of Hanbury and Wilkes StreetsThe lingering question for folks who value evidence is how we can say that Kosminski killed all five of the so-called “canonical” murders when there is only direct evidence of his involvement in the Eddowes murder. The answer comes by way of the reason that they are called “canonical”: because the crimes were so similar that there is virtually no doubt among investigators that they were committed by the same person. This means that the killer of Eddowes—officially identified as Aaron Kosminski—is in all reasonable likelihood the killer of Chapman…and Nichols…and Stride…and Kelly.
In 2002, crime fiction author Patricia Cornwell penned a supposedly non-fiction book entitled “Portrait of a Killer – Jack the Ripper Case Closed”. Clearly confusing an ability to spin complex and compelling yarns about crimes that never occurred with the facility to investigate actual crimes, Cornwell’s popular tome fingered artist Walter Sickert as the murderer Jack the Ripper, and even toured the US and UK giving “dissertations”. Her evidence: some creepy drawings and the mere suggestion that some of the Ripper letters received by the investigators—most of which were known to be hoaxes—might have been penned by Sickert. By this standard, Edvard Munch could also be a suspect. As compelling as Cornwell’s theory was to people who don’t know anything about how actual evidence is collected and evaluated, it did not fool the folks who do know, and her fanciful theory was thoroughly dismantled and discredited. Her response: “If I were a MAN…or ENGLISH…”
A wolf in cheap clothing: Cornwell gets it all wrong in her attempt to put to bed things she cannot know
Yes, yes, dear. The mean old Patriarchy has struck again. Go tell it on the mountain [of evidence suggesting that you’re a second-rate hack investigator with a first-rate delusion of competence and grandeur].
So the other lingering question is: How does Cornwell keep getting work? The answer is that her books are popular and entertaining. She is a good writer of fiction. Non-fiction—especially non-fiction that she investigates herself—is quite simply not her area of competency. It’s compelling, but terrible.
Fortunately, she has not penned a non-fiction book since.
